Seriously Amazing Pizza (Primal and Keto)

Keto Pizza

Okay, even though pizza is not my favorite food (I’m blaming my mom–she ate pizza all the time when she was pregnant with me), I still occasionally miss it.  Plus, I can put anything on a pizza and Isak will suck it down.  Spinach, liver, tin cans, whatever.  But now that we’ve gone beyond a basic primal diet and moved into a fully keto diet (we are both now fully fat adapted–woohoo!), pizza is pretty much off the table.

That is, until I found a recipe for this crust.  You know how any sort of gluten-free pizza crust is basically just full of sadness and despair?  Am I the only one who thinks that?  They typically use rice flour, which is just gross, and nowhere near the consistency of real flour.  They always just…fall apart.  I’m not going to lie: this is not the same consistency of a regular filled-with-delicious-gluten crust.  It is, however, practically the consistency of a thin crust, AND you can hold it just like a slice of pizza.  It doesn’t turn into pizza-flavored baby food (that’s a conversation I had at Isak’s dance school today about trying multiple types of cauliflower crust).

So what’s it made out of?  Cheese.  Yep, the base of it is cheese.  I got this from EAT FAT LOSE FAT and played around with it until I found a flavor that I liked.  Side bar: If you just make the crust of the pizza, you can cut it into rectangles with a pizza wheel and make lovely bread sticks.  Game changer.

Seriously Amazing Pizza (Primal and Keto)

Serves 2-3

6 oz shredded mozzarella (you can also mix in cheddar)

2 T full-fat cream cheese (for those of you who aren’t doing keto, the full-fat part is important)

4 Tbsp grated Parmesan (Fresh grated–come on, people.  We aren’t animals)

1/3 C + 1T cashew (or almond) flour

2 Tbsp psyllium husk powder (you can get this in most “health food” stores, and some regular grocery stores–this gives it the texture of bread)

1 egg

1 Tbsp Italian seasoning

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1.- Heat oven to 450 (the original says to heat to “broil.”  Our broiler isn’t super reliable, so 450 is fine).  Put the shredded mozz into a medium bowl and heat in microwave until melted, but not browned.  This took me about three or four 30-second zaps.  It will be like cheese-flavored Gak when you get done.

2.- Let it cool for a minute or two and then dump everything else in the bowl.  Sprinkle the psyllium evenly or it gets clumpy.  Put on your gloves (you guys all have cooking gloves, right?) and start doing your Mixing Dough dance.  You don’t have one?  Maybe that’s just me.  Weird.  It will be super mushy and sticky.

3.- Get out your silpat (or greased parchment paper, whatever) and flatten it with your hands until it’s the size you want.  It’ll make a 10-12″ round.  Don’t make it so thin that there are holes.

4.- Cook in the oven for about 5-10 minutes.  You want it to be browned.  Take it out, flip the crust over, and cook another 5 minutes.  Take it out and put on your toppings.  I used about 2 Tbsp of plain tomato sauce, more mozz, pepperoni, mushrooms, basil, and oregano.  Put whatever you want.  Cook it another 5-10 minutes.  Let it cool about 5-ish minutes before cutting it.

Seriously, you will not regret making this pizza.  Go buy the stuff now.

 

BLT and then Some (Primal and Keto)

BLT

On Saturday, it will be eight months since I quit smoking.  In those eight months, my food choices went to hell and I gained almost 30 pounds.  The obvious fix to that is to hit another few months of strict primal, right?  Well this time, I’m also integrating a close-to-keto component.  Technically, keto is considered, what, under 20 grams of net carbs per day?  My carbs have been in the 20-35 range most days…so I’m close, but not in it to the letter.  Anyway, it’s hard, but I’ve lost almost 20 pounds in not-quite three weeks.

I felt like a BLT today.  I’m not big on sandwiches, but I love BLTs and club sandwiches.  Obviously bread is out (even most of the paleo versions of “bread”), so I chose to put everything in a romaine heart boat.  Really, the possibilities are limitless, but today it was all about the BLT.  For reference: to make this Whole30 compliant, eliminate the cheese.

BLT and then Some (Primal and Keto)

Serves 2-3

1 romaine heart, washed and leaves separated

1 pound of bacon

2 roma tomatoes

1 avocado, sliced

Extra sharp white cheddar, cut in small chunks

 

1.- Cook the bacon to your liking.

2.- Layer everything in the lettuce.

3.- Stuff your face.